Cold Task: The Vicious Attack

Cold Task: The Vicious Attack

We did a 'Cold Task' to find out what we already know, like figurative language, sentence structure, and good organization. Our 'Cold Task' was on narrative writing and storytelling.

This is a snapshot of what I can do in 30 minutes.

We are learning to self-assess our writing, so we know what we are good at and what we need to work on. My next step in my learning is to have an interesting hook and to add more figurative language. I am proud of my 'Cold Task' because I have shown/added a little bit of each.

What I want to improve is to have short sentences for impacted and longer sentences to add detail.

Here is my Cold task:

Name: Anahera

                                               [Introduction-wwww]

One midday, my mum, and Sonny went to my mum's friend's house to feed some eels on the Great Barrier Island. We went to go feed the eels some bread to try and catch one. 

                                                 Main Paragraph-Big, Slimy eel

As we get down to the creek we start to rip up some soft bread and throw it in the dark, green greek. It felt like we were waiting for two whole hours, but we were only waiting for thirty minutes. Suddenly, out of the blue, a slimy, dark brown eel comes out of the wavey green grass. “Look, look!” shouted Sonny, “it's an eel, hurry up Anahera help me catch it.” I think in my mind how am I ever going to catch a big, slimy eel, as I am only seven years old, but with thoughts, I jump up to help.

                                              Main Paragraph-The bite/the problem

We spring into action as our mum starters to throw more bread in the water. This speedy eel must be hungry because it was coming at me like a wild pig. “Grab it by its neck Anahera” Strong, shouted Sonny. I leap at the eel but miss. After two minutes of stress, I got it, but it was not hopeful. I had it by its neck while Sonny the boy was watching me. Suddenly, in the flick of time, the eel twisted its neck and bit my index finger. “Owwwwwwww!!” I screamed.

                                                Resolution-Problem to the bit

My mum immediately jumps up and looks at my index finger. All you could see was blood and flesh. I was screaming in horror. I was in pain. My mum takes me to her friend's house a clean it. I was so glad to still have my finger. 

                                                Ending-the message

At the end of the day, I think the message about these is that even if an eel nearly bites my finger off I will still like them no matter what.