The Rip: adapted by Anahera and Emily

 I have been learning how to do 'show not tell' to make my narrative enjoyable in class. I have been trying to use figurative language, and character dialouge and describing: what the characters, think, talk and feel. 

THIS IS A STORY ME AND EMILY WROTE:
 WALT use ‘show not tell’ when we write a narrative  
How do we do this team?
By describing characters' looks, feelings, thoughts, and actions ……………………………………….. ……………………….……………………………………
By using figurative language well
Planning - what is the ‘plot’ and what do we want to show?　
                                             
 The Rip   
                          

There were two brothers who were not at all alike;  they were different in every way. The younger brother stayed on the sand. And the older brother was always in the water. The older brother liked to swim with his bros, diving and tumbling, and bombing, and snorkling and surfing in the waves. During the day the older brother liked to go on lots of adventures but the younger brother would stay safe on the sand. Sometimes the older brother would creep up to the younger brother and drag him into the water. “Oh come on you little chicken, it’s only waves,” teased the older brother. 

One morning their mother grew angry with them, “you're like a cat and a mouse! Out you go together,” she said, “go down to the beach and be nice to each other for once!” “Why did you have to come?” Jack moaned, “I didn't want to come! I’m scared of the beach you know that,” cried James 

“You're such a baby! You’re afraid of everything!” The brother left him and went swimming. “Hey! Come here!”  He yelled a little while later. Gingerly, he walked over to meet him at the water, “Come on jump in with me” The boy froze in place. “N-oo, you mustn’t” he said. Imaging all the horrible things it could lead to… “Ah! You’re lame,” said the brother as he took the tough, cold water and disappeared.

His brother waited for him to come out of the water. Fear gripped his heart. Tears threatened to burst from his eyes. What could she do? He had to follow him to the water. The water was rough, dark, scary and cold. In the water he found himself in rough water - there was no sign of his brother. Quivering, he saw a fin. Sharks, stingrays, seaweed- what kind of creatures are swimming in there? His mind longed to turn back, but his heart would let him. He could not leave-for what would become of his brother? “Brother! Where are you?” he yelled as he swam. The more he swam, the more he wanted to find his brother.                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

 Furice waves formed into fists, punching him in the gut as he swam. Just when he knew he could swim no further, he saw a rip. There in the rip was a figure flapping around until it was gone, gone down into the deep, dark ocean. It was his brother! He was too late. He swam as fast as he could. Then, just in time to have his life-less brother in his arms. He wept, wishing he had been with his brother all the way. Little by little, he began to breathe, then move, finally talks “James! I knew you would come,” he said.

They swam back through the rip, through the water, and onto the sand. Together. When they reached home, their mother was setting the table. “Hello,” she said, “you two seem very quiet. “Is everything alright?” James smiled at Jake and Jake smiled back.  

Do You Want To Drink From A Polluted Water?

 Here is the reading response I did in class this week. I hope you enjoy it and you think it is attractive.

Community Helps Tamariki In Need

Community Helps Tamariki In Need

In class last term [term 1] we were learning how to write a news report. This involved a cold task and a hot task. We had to talk about a child who had disabilities. 

What I wanted to improve on were my personification and figurative language.

Something I really enjoyed about the News report was that I was able to try out something new in my writing.

Hope you like my news report.

Sickness Isn't a Physical Thing, There Is Many Ways You Can Be Sick

 In class, we are learning what it means to be healthy. I have learned that you can be emotionally sick, mentally sick, etc. This slide is about my ideas of how you could be sick.

My Refection: Is that you can be sick in many ways, not just with the flu.

Mystery Shapes With...Emily

Mystery Shapes With... Emily

My reflection is that I and Emily are good at teamwork and at solving problems together.

The Wonders Of The Twin Towers 9/11

 The Wonders Of The Twin Towers 9/11
In class, I have chosen a novel book called GROUND ZERO, based on 9/11, the twin towers, and a war in Afghanistan. My task was to summarize what happens in this breathtaking novel. Two Kids. One devastating day. Nothing will ever change.

BRANDON Summary [9/11 Twin Towers]

In summary, the main character Brandon Chavez had to survive a fiery nightmare in the Twin Towers. Brandon had a difficult time trying to find his father as he is the last parent he has. As Bradon travels up to the 107th floor to save his dad, it comes to him that he is never gonna find him because the plane crashed and blocked it. Bradon had nearly died, but he was saved by a man, Richard Lowery, and they traveled together to the basement, saving others on the way. As they get outside they find the south tower had fallen, and they have to run as an avalanche of metal, concrete, and glass attacks them as the North tower falls, to nothing…

Reshmina Summary [Afghanistan war]

As a young girl named Reshmina grows up in the shadow of a war she comes across a wounded American soldier and then takes him to her home. With thoughts, she realized that she was bringing deaf to her home and her village. As she had saved Taz the soldier her brother Passon hated Taz, as his own country had bombed his sister on her wedding day when she was 16, as that had forced Passon to join the Taliban. As the Americans had saved Reshmina's family and village from the Taliban, they end up ‘accidentally’ bombing her village.

The twist to Ground Zero

As you should know Bradon's dad had died, and he was then adopted by Richard Lowery. Brandon after ten years from 2001 which was 2011 he then decided to join the army to get revenge on the terrorist. As you have read my summary there was Taz, the twist is that Bradon Lowery is also Bradon ‘Taz’ Lowery (Chavez).

Cold Task: The Vicious Attack

Cold Task: The Vicious Attack

We did a 'Cold Task' to find out what we already know, like figurative language, sentence structure, and good organization. Our 'Cold Task' was on narrative writing and storytelling.

This is a snapshot of what I can do in 30 minutes.

We are learning to self-assess our writing, so we know what we are good at and what we need to work on. My next step in my learning is to have an interesting hook and to add more figurative language. I am proud of my 'Cold Task' because I have shown/added a little bit of each.

What I want to improve is to have short sentences for impacted and longer sentences to add detail.

Here is my Cold task:

Name: Anahera

                                               [Introduction-wwww]

One midday, my mum, and Sonny went to my mum's friend's house to feed some eels on the Great Barrier Island. We went to go feed the eels some bread to try and catch one. 

                                                 Main Paragraph-Big, Slimy eel

As we get down to the creek we start to rip up some soft bread and throw it in the dark, green greek. It felt like we were waiting for two whole hours, but we were only waiting for thirty minutes. Suddenly, out of the blue, a slimy, dark brown eel comes out of the wavey green grass. “Look, look!” shouted Sonny, “it's an eel, hurry up Anahera help me catch it.” I think in my mind how am I ever going to catch a big, slimy eel, as I am only seven years old, but with thoughts, I jump up to help.

                                              Main Paragraph-The bite/the problem

We spring into action as our mum starters to throw more bread in the water. This speedy eel must be hungry because it was coming at me like a wild pig. “Grab it by its neck Anahera” Strong, shouted Sonny. I leap at the eel but miss. After two minutes of stress, I got it, but it was not hopeful. I had it by its neck while Sonny the boy was watching me. Suddenly, in the flick of time, the eel twisted its neck and bit my index finger. “Owwwwwwww!!” I screamed.

                                                Resolution-Problem to the bit

My mum immediately jumps up and looks at my index finger. All you could see was blood and flesh. I was screaming in horror. I was in pain. My mum takes me to her friend's house a clean it. I was so glad to still have my finger. 

                                                Ending-the message

At the end of the day, I think the message about these is that even if an eel nearly bites my finger off I will still like them no matter what.

The Way Forgiveness Changed Revenge

The Way Forgiveness Changed Revenge

In class, we are learning about forgiveness. We are also learning why is forgiveness important. We read the article of NgaKuku and how forgiveness stopped a war of revenge. Here is my reading response.

MY REFLECTION

One thing that I learned from this article is that Forgiveness changed many people's lives. I also learned that you can forgive somebody even if it was really bad.